So I went to my diversity event this week called difficult dialogues and managing conflict. It was in the memorial union and only about 10-15 people were there. Maybe about 5 students and the others were staff and interested others. Paul Ladehoff was the presenter and he is interim Assistant Dean for Admissions, Career Development and Student Services at the MU School of Law. It was a session that focused on what a difficult dialogue is and what to do with them.
I discovered that difficult dialogues involve more than just talking about sexuality, race, gender, politics, religion or others things people identify with. It can be any conversation that makes someone feel embarrassed, uncomfortable, or feel like they are being judged. This can be as simple as being called on in class, or telling someone bad news. That means that we engage in a lot more difficult dialogues then we thought. This can probably be worse with introverts because they may find themselves in conversations in which people expect them to talk and they don’t want to, which can lead them to feeling uncomfortable. I found this subject very interesting in the session. One subject that was brought up was, as a dialogue facilitator, as we will be when we bring up discussion points in recitation in the fall, what do we hope will happen in the discussion and what to we fear? This really got me thinking. As mentors to incoming students we can have very uncomfortable discussions and topics to cover. I fear that we may hit a breaking point for a student. Like if we get on the discussion of being homesick, or undeclared majors, or even stress management that someone could have a personal connection to. I hope that the students will feel better after the discussion and be encouraged to ask for help or try something different in their lives.
The facilitator gave us some facilitating strategies that I would love to share with whoever asks. He also gave us a list of guidelines for controversial conversations and even some signs and emotions to watch out for if something is getting too deep. I even found myself feeling a little uncomfortable when someone was talking about people storming out of conversations. It seems like every get-together in my family someone does that. I think that really helped me to pay attention and want to learn from this session.
I really learned a lot in this session about what to watch out for and how to facilitate these kinds of conversations. I really wish more people could have attended this so I could bounce ideas off of them. I guess the only question I would have right now is about me. What motivates my emotions in difficult dialogues and what is the goal I am trying to get through? I think with the students in the fall it is the dialogue goal. I want others to understand and appreciate the genuine differences of everyone.
Well that was a quick look at difficult dialogues. If anyone wants to see the handouts he gave us to learn more information, let me know!
I wish I would have attended this diversity event. It sounds like you came away with a lot of good information that you can come back to to help answer questions. I didn't realize their were so many different situations where dialogue could be problematic or controversial.
ReplyDeleteDeb this sounds very interesting and like something that we could all use a little more information on. I agree with Josh that I never really thought about there being so many different situations of dialogue that could potentially be challenging. Maybe you could type up a summary of what you learned to send out to all of us so we can be more aware of them as well.
ReplyDelete